forsquilis | Entries tagged with woe despair and agony on me

Well, once again I have managed to not post anything in forever. I kept meaning to answer the comments that people left on my last post, but time just gets away from me. Work is overloaded (which is far far better than being unemployed!) but I've been put on a project that I came to haaaaaate, which meant I'm not very productive because my brain wanted to run away, which has led to a lot of days of sitting in front of the work computer from 8 am to 11 pm in order to get 5 or 6 hours of work done. Finally finished the project yesterday, and I'm hoping that now I can start catching up on other things. Unfortunately, the first thing I have to catch up on, is other work duties that are overdue...

I also went out last night to celebrate 2 birthdays, and had 4 glasses of wine over the course of the evening/night. And today, I'm hungover. Not killing me, just feeling crappy enough that I want to lie on the couch and not think. AND I NEVER EVEN ACTUALLY GOT DRUNK. Getting older is so unfun. Five years ago, I could have drunk a bottle and a half of wine and bounced out of bed in the morning. Blech, blech, blech. So today, I'm whiny and frustrated because I had lots of things I wanted to accomplish, but it's increasingly looking like nothing will get done. The underwear may have to continue to lie on the floor next to the cat fur, and the weeds may continue to bask in the corners of the yard. Oh well.

/*end self-pity/

PS.

violet_anchovy made a comment about an Oz book in a recent post, and when I saw it, something went wrong in my brain, and I went, "...Sylar in Oz. Yeah. That's what I want to read about." Time for me to go back to bed.

Current Mood: crappy

...To wrestling with something that infected my computer, that's where. I had planned to write...instead I spent hours attempting to clean things up before finally giving up, backing up many GBs of files, and then re-installing the OS. I now have an excellently-functioning computer with NOTHING installed on it. Blech.

OK. To keep this from just being a whiny post of whinyness, here is a little something for all y'all from

iconomicon called "Spock's Milkshake":

I have been so disconnected from anything on TV or in fandom lately. I just can't care about any shows - even getting my Moonlight DVDs didn't excite me.

Then I saw the Torchwood trailer.

Ah, Torchwood. How I've missed you. I'm just going to close my eyes and think of Owen. And compose a long letter to BBC America demanding a fucking definite air date for S3.

I am a little disjointed tonight. I have been laid low by a cold for three weeks - THREE FREAKING WEEKS I AM SO DAMNED SICK OF IT - and tonight I was irritated enough that I started drinking wine on top of it. This may not have been a good idea.

I may have been inspired by

nothingtosay 's birthday to write something. Maybe. Just maybe. We'll see. Bobbity bobbuty boo!

Current Mood: cold
Current Music: The Thermals - How We Know | Powered by Last.fm

I just realized that I haven't posted in here in forever, and perhaps I should. The 4th of July weekend was spent going out of state to meet Boyfriend's parents. Which I was a little nervous about, but I figured they couldn't be that different from him, right? Turns out they aren't, and they seemed to like me just as much as I liked them. Which is a very, very good thing... Monday and Tuesday nights I also spent with Boyfriend. I quite like it, but as I said to him, "The neighbors are going to start thinking the house has been reposessed or something, because I'm never home and the yard is all overgrown!"

Tonight and tomorrow night I'm supposed to spend in work-related stuff because it's the big quarterly company meeting with Team Building Actitives and Corporate Retreat Functions, but...man, I do not want to go. I have SO MUCH TO DO. One of the evening activities (a boat ride on the Mississippi) is something I'd like to do, but with friends, not co-workers. Thursday night, though, is a trip to the modern art museum (which I do not like) and dinner at a downtown restaurant that I've only heard negative things about.

Don't mind me - I'm just a bit whiny. This weekend is also TCFKAR, hosted by the lovely

aelora , which I really really wanted to go to - I need some relaxing fangirl squeeing. However, the unexpected expense of two out-of-state trips when my grandfather died in May meant I couldn't afford a plane ticket. I'm trying to buy my ticket for ComicCon but of course, the affordable tickets are at inconvenient travel times. Plus I'm getting nervous about it, because I realized I'm more excited over hearing Neil Gaiman might be there for a panel on Coraline than I am at the thought of seeing Heroes promos. And Neil Gaiman actually lives in my neck of the woods, so I don't have to travel across the country to see him. Plus, my two favorite shows this past season, Moonlight and Jericho, are both gone. Oy.

Maybe I'm just coming into a depressive time. Hopefully it will be over soon. I think I need to pick up the Jericho season 2 DVDs and make Boyfriend watch them in a marathon this weekend. That would cheer me up immensely. I've already decided I'm going to order a t-shirt with a Ianto quote for ComicCon; I think I need to pick out a Hawkins quote as well...

Current Mood: grumpy

Soooooo. I finally got home tonight. After Starfest ended in Denver, I took pills and went to bed at 9 freaking PM Sunday night, because I had to get up at 3 frakking AM Monday morning in order to catch the airport shuttle at 3:30 AM to get on a flight to Minneapolis at 6:30 AM. And then I immediately got on another flight to Tampa where I just spent 3 days for work. Yeaaaaaaah. That seemed like a good idea when I booked the ticket; I now think I must have been on very, very, very bad crack when I did it.

And I had been very happy that my cold seemed to be improving the last couple of days, but I've felt like crap today. About 90 minutes ago, I realized that I should probably be concerned over the fact that it's 73 degrees out but yet I'm shivering. So I took my temperature and it's 100.6. WTF? Hopefully I'm just worn out from the travel, and not getting sick again. The problem is, though, that I have two pages written up about the con and I wanted to write a little bit more. And I had a couple of other things I was inspired to write on last night. But my eyes are burning and my head aches and I want to go to bed.

I did manage to make it through my flist, which was insanely long. I'd read a few posts over the weekend, but I had 9 pages of new entries, at 25 entries per page. I feel bad, but I only replied to a few posts, just because otherwise, I'd be replying till midnight. I got tagged for a couple of fun memes that I want to do, but...after I get a bit of rest.

I hope you all are having a good week! I am going to haul the laptop upstairs and try to accomplish something before I totally drift off to sleep.

Current Mood: tired

My house was just assessed in preparation for the 2008 property taxes. And you know what the city assessor did? He lowered its estimated value by $20,000.

That's right. The city's estimation of its market value is currently less than what I paid for it in 2003. Q tried to cheer me up by telling me that condos in his neighborhood are currently listing for $30,000 less than what he paid for his in August, but it didn't help much.

Is it any wonder I'm spending my evening online reading fic in a vain attempt to distract myself?

So I had an extended conversation via email with Chris last week about setting up another euchre night. And Saturday while eating lunch, I finally hammered out a date and a place with her. And I said I'd set up the meetup and send out the invitation emails.

Did I do it right then? No.

Did I remember to do it that night when I got home? No.

Did I remember to do it Sunday? No.

Did I remember to do it yesterday? No.

God only knows that else I have managed to completely fail on, in the last few days. And today is so busy at work... I had plans for tonight but I clearly need to go home, retrace my mental steps and try to figure out if there's anything else I've screwed up, and fix it ASAP.

ETA: Of course, Chainlighting knows exactly what to say to cheer me up...

Current Mood: aggravated with myself

I like living in Minnesota. I actually do. But there's always a couple of periods in January and February where it gets really cold. Like right now. At this current moment? It is 10 below zero. And the wind chill is 24 below. If you live by the Celsius temperature scale instead of Fahrenheit, that's 23 below zero with a wind chill of 31 below. In layman's terms, that's OMFGTOOFUCKINGCOLDWHATTHEHELLISGOINGON MYFINGERSACTUALLYHURTWHENIWASHEDMYHANDSJUSTNOW.

Seriously. If I didn't mention this to you guys? The dishsoap on my kitchen sink, which is up against an exterior wall, has had ice crystals in it for two days. It's no wonder I've been unable to concentrate: not only is it still getting dark at a ludicrously early time, my brain is probably permanently frozen.

I would really like to go to the Art Shanties on Medicine Lake this weekend, but...daaaaamn. They're claiming it's going to warm up to around 20, but considering how I've spent all night since I got home from work at 10 pm huddled under the big fluffy blanket trying to keep from shivering, I don't think I'll be doing anything outside in the next few days.

And now that I've finished writing about Life on Mars, I'm off to bed, where I can huddle under multiple fluffy blankets.

Current Mood: cold
Current Music: David Bowie - Life on Mars

I haven't really talked about the GMAC Bowl played on Sunday because the wounds were too deep. I seriously should have gotten drunk before trying to watch that. I actually gave up and went to bed when the score was still only 56-7. I mean...what the FUCK?!?! So in an attempt to wash the bad taste out of my mouth - since "at least Toledo didn't even make it into a bowl game" isn't helping - I decided to thank my perennial also-rans, the Cincinnati Bengals.

Thank you, Marvin Lewis. You may only have coached them to a 7-9 record this year, but at least you're not Dave Shula. And hey! You still won 6 more games than the Dolphins did!

Thank you, Chad Johnson. By all rights, your clowning should annoy the crap out of me, yet I find you charming and funny, even the fact that whenever you come up with an attention-seeking plan, you have a check made out to the NFL to pay the inevitable fine before you even do it. I don't even mind the GoDaddy.com commercials where you promote your own website.

Thank you, Carson Palmer. Because what you are? Is made of awesome. You are possibly the only #1 draft pick that the Bengals have successfully made (remember Big Daddy, anyone? Exactly!) and despite all the interceptions, you still set franchise records for completions and passing yards.

Thank you, Chris Henry, for not getting arrested yet in 2008.

And finally, thank you, T.J. Houshmandzadeh, for not just being "the guy they picked up because they wanted a player whose name was even harder to spell than Eric Bieniemy's". For setting a team record (and NHL-leading) number of pass receptions, for getting elected to the Pro Bowl, and for saying that one of your favorite hobbies is the PlayStation.

Current Mood: melancholy

Just got back from six days visiting the parentals out of state.

With, as it turns out, no internet access.

Repeat: no internet access.

Ahhhhh, sweet, sweet LiveJournal. And Gmail. And the StarTribune website. How I've missed you. I will hug you and kiss you and call you George.

Also, the cars have to be parked on the west side of the street so they can plow the east side tomorrow, and I managed to get the car stuck in the one single snow drift on that side. But, you know, I'm not going out there with a shovel at 2 AM when it's 19 degrees Fahrenheit. The British Advertising Awards tickets are for 1 PM, I'll have plenty of time to dig it out tomorrow before we go.

I think I need to go get some sleep now. *pets the internet connection*

Current Mood: crazy

Something suddenly triggered my brain to remember this, and I'm even more irritated than I was at the time it happened.

My phone rang at exactly 8:00 pm this evening. It was my mother. I answered it and had this exchange:

Mom: What are you doing?
Me: I'm watching Moonlight. It's gotten pretty fun to watch. Plus, I have to take notes for the review I have due on it tomorrow.
Mom: Well, I just laid down in bed, so I can talk to you for a while.
Me: .....

I really shouldn't be surprised when the Heroes personality quizzes tell me that I am Sylar.

ETA: I now have a Mohinder icon. Isn't it pretty? Suddenly I feel a lot better. Let's all look at it now, shall we?

Current Mood: grumpy

I'm trying to decide what to do tonight. I was invited to a Hallowe'en party that friends-of-friends are having, and I was assured that they are fun people, but that I Have To Wear A Costume. I said I would go. But.

I don't really like wearing costumes, plus I would have to make an otherwise unneeded trip to several stores, which makes me feel like I'm wasting a good chunk of the afternoon. I am having cramps and my face and neck have broken out nastily. I'm having to reinstall the OS on the almost-brand-new computer in a last-ditch effort to keep from taking it in to a professional for repairs. Euchre last night, which is usually fun, sucked. I have about 6 unfinished projects staring me in the face, plus a list of new ones I keep saying I want to start "when I have the time". And there are a half-dozen other things pulling on my brain, which, combined with the rest, means I'm in a bad bad mood. And I don't deal well with a big room full of strangers even when I'm in a good mood. I've spent more time this morning dreading going to the party than doing anything else on my list of projects and things to do.

The problem is, I know that sometimes I dread going to things, and instead of sitting in the corner counting the minutes till I can go, I do actually meet someone who is quite fun to talk to. But that's only sometimes: other times I get there, meet everyone and end up sitting quietly in a chair counting the minutes till my friends are ready to leave. I keep wavering between texting S and saying, "You don't want me to come, I'll just be a bitch", and putting on shoes to get the shopping over with.

I just feel an increasing need for one weekend where I do not do anything, I do not go anywhere, I just sit down and mindlessly game for 48 hours with no other human beings in proximity. I've been jonesing for Sim City--I realized last week I haven't even installed it on the new desktop, which means I haven't played since March--and I had a blast playing Kingdom of Loathing but haven't even logged in in weeks, because my brain screams at me that I have too many other things to do to be playing games. Maybe if I promise to do that next weekend, no matter what people try to get me to do, maybe my mood will improve enough that I can actually concentrate on something this afternoon.

Current Mood: stressed

David Sedaris was in town last night doing a reading. And I had no idea. Dammit.

I shall console myself with the thought that tickets probably sold out within a few hours.

Dammit.

Current Mood: cranky

My horoscope today at Tarot.com:

"Although you may be eager to balance work and play, enjoying yourself today can be quite a challenge until you have completed unfinished business."

True: my mother is coming to visit for several days, and I've been frantically cleaning the entire house from top to bottom whilst thinking about all the things I'd RATHER be doing.

"Free-floating anxiety may plague you now, for you know that you are running out of time."

True: I will go straight from work to the airport to get her Tuesday night, which means I only had today and tomorrow evening to finish getting ready. And tomorrow is Sylar Celebration Day (also known as "Tim Kring Gives Me Better Birthday Presents Than Anyone" Day), so it's debatable how much work I'll get done tomorrow.

"Fortunately, this deadline is movable, so instead of panicking, just continue doing the best you can."

Eh. And the horoscope was doing so well until then.

It was just a miserable day. The humidity was ludicrous and despite gulping water and taking frequent breaks in front of a fan, I feel completely wrung out. I actually had a dirt ring around my neck because I was so sweaty, the dust clung to me. A freaking dirt ring. Like I'm 10 again. And there's still a lot to do--the sink is full of dirty pans, the bathroom hasn't been cleaned and the bedroom is a disaster area--but I'm just too tired now. It's amazing how long it takes you just to clean a porch when you have to stop every couple of minutes to wipe off your forehead.

Hey...what the hell??? I haven't eaten dinner so I went to get some chips and salsa. I opened the brand-new bag of chips and...they smell odd. Like something that was varnished yesterday and is still faintly giving off chemicals. That officially sucks. So now I'm waiting for the oven to heat up, in my 80-degree house, so that I can bake a pizza. Grrr.

Current Mood: cranky

Every time I take a Heroes personality test, I get the same result. Every time. Someone (

irvys_sefie?) posted the LiquidGeneration.com quiz in their lj a few days ago, and I extended my streak. I took it again this morning while waiting for a report to run, and even changed some of my answers, and it's STILL GIVING ME THE SAME DAMN RESULT. SYLAR. I AM ALWAYS SYLAR.

You probably don't ever want to tell me that I'm not the most special person on your flist, is all I'm trying to say.

Current Mood: contemplative

So I come in this morning and have an email from a friend, about last night's Heroes. The email?

"So who was that at the end? I couldn't tell if it was Peter or Sylar."

Let's just think about that, folks. "I couldn't tell if it was Peter or Sylar." Now admittedly, as a straight man, my friend probably doesn't pay nearly as much attention to males as I do. But he watched all of S1. And Sylar and Pete have completely different voices. And Zachary Quinto and Milo Ventimiglia have very different facial features - good Lord, the eyebrows alone ought to be enough evidence that the guy was not Sylar. I almost made a snotty "What, are you saying all Italians look alike?" remark to him. "I couldn't tell if it was Peter or Sylar." Sheesh.

In other terrifying news...are thoughts of suicide justified when you take one of those online "Which sci fi character are you?" quizzes, and get THIS as your result?...

( Just kill me now... )

Current Mood: gloomy

So. My laptop, which I really cannot afford but which I decided I needed for mental health reasons, came in last night, which was perfect--they'd told me it wouldn't ship till the 26th, which was AFTER the first of the trips I wanted to take it on. In just a moment, I shall complain about what I had to go through to get it, but first...the whores! Er, I mean, pictures of the laptop.

( Pictures, gushing, Windows Vista and the evil of DHL )

But hey! Green laptop!

Current Mood: sleepy
Current Music: Bettie Serveert - Rudder

You know what? I did not ever need to see Zachary Quinto with a fauxhawk. Ever.

That is all.

ETA: likealongforgottendream just texted me with, "I'm so sorry. I didn't know Spock sported one of those."

Current Mood: In denial

Grrr. I forgot that I agreed to go help monitor the records for our study patient at a local hospital this afternoon. It's a "learning experience", even though I don't want to go that direction as a career path, so I need to go. But that means that all the stuff I thought I was going to get done today? Not going to happen. And also I have an hour-long meeting that I have to sit through beforehand, so another big chunk of the day is gone. I've already got 11 messages sitting in my email that need to be answered, but...they're just going to have to wait till tonight.

I just hate all the sitting around with not enough going on to occupy my mind. It's not that I'm ADHD. I just don't tolerate enforced mental inactivity very well, and that's what most of the rest of the day will be: sitting, watching/listening to other people, and thinking about all the other tasks I should be doing instead.

(Also, this is the second day in a row that I feel kind of hung over for no reason. I hope this isn't the start of some kind of nasty slow virus. OK, will stop grumbling now.)

Current Mood: grumpy

Great. I was thinking today would be a slow day and I could do the things I had to do, and then fit some writing and other things (like posting here) in around it. However, everyone is out or working from home today, and they've called in and asked me to take care of some things for them. I don't mind it, but they're things that I'm not used to doing, so it's going to take me a while. Which means my day has gotten very, very busy.

Oh--and I just got an email from someone with a bunch of questions about some data I provided last week. Which is going to mean another lengthy expedition into the database, on top of everything else. Grrr, grrr, grrr.

Current Mood: irritated

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Page generated Apr. 23rd, 2025 03:59 pm

My journal. Yes.

:: "fuzzy romance and brutal terror" : apparently, I can get behind that ::

Entries tagged with woe despair and agony on me

I just like this icon, and don't use it much.

Where did the holiday weekend go?

It's Saturday night and I ain't got nobody (except it's Friday night, and I do)

An update post, of sorts...

I am home. And I need a vacation.

So you don't believe a recession is here?

I really suck at life, you know that?

I AM GETTING VERY TIRED OF THIS.

The big football post that no one else will give a crap about

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

A quick irritation

Argh.

Why don't people tell me these things?

Uffda.

I give up.

I weep for the future

My laptop, it is here.

There's so much evil in the world.

Spamming your flist with whininess

Aw, shit.